Reason #4: Reflection
When it's a good day, reasons are super easy to find. They're like walking through a bountiful vineyard and picking the perfect grape. When it's a bad day, reasons are almost impossible to find. Like walking through a desert and seeing the echoes of where the vineyard once was.
Reasons that would otherwise have worked like: "Hey, Fanta is great, I could get another one tomorrow" get corrupted into "Well, Fanta is terrible for you, and maybe that's the reason I'm overweight. Sure, I've been working on that, but maybe I should work on it harder. Even if I weren't overweight, does it say something about me that I have to resort to some external factor to keep going?"
Today has been a bit of a lonely day. It's fine, it happens. Not every day can be the best day of your life. I went for a little walk around Bath, which was lovely with the good weather.
The truth is, after a good streak I end up feeling a bit guilty. Much like I discussed in New Year, Same Tired:
"Maybe the reason I feel guiltiest of all is that I know lots of people out there are much less fortunate than me."
Having good days often ends with me reflecting on whether or not I deserved them. I have some amazing friends, and I do my best to be a good person because of them, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling entirely unworthy of them.
Today's Reason: Bubble Tea and Six Nations
It ended up being a self-pampering kind of day. Whilst on my walk I got some Bubble Tea, something that brings back many memories of the time I lived in Hong Kong. After getting home, I watched some of the rugby. It was a close match (until it wasn't).
Today was a 5/10
This post is part of a series called "The Reason". I haven't committed to living forever, but I find a reason to live for one more day every day. Read the rest of the series here.